Monday, March 19, 2012

Battle of the Influences

Listening to: Allah Alek Ya Seedi (Love me some Arabic music!)

Mood: Wired, thanks to some extra strong coffee today

When I was a young girl (and indeed, a teenager and young adult), things used to excite me. I used to anticipate something fun for days in advance, weeks if it was something spectacularly fun. I thought this was awesome and part of the fun too.

After I grew up a teeny bit and got married (like 23), things started to change for me. My husband is not what you’d call the excitable type. He’s at best Buddhist type calm.

Over the years, I have noticed how his sedateness has worn off on me. A Lot. Or perhaps that’s just a theory. Perhaps people naturally get a bit worn down by life and don’t get quite so worked up by the small things. After a while, I found myself being a bit more guarded about excitement. This was a direct result of some pretty large disappointments and things falling through. I suppose it’s natural to pull back a little from the jumping up and down when the disappointment isn’t worth the excitement if something falls through.
Just one of the things that wandered into my mental space this morning. I’ve heard quite a few people say that spouses rub off on each other. I’ve noticed it quite a bit in myself – I’ve gained some of my husband’s traits over time (I’m much more apt to plan things out ahead of time rather than just fly by the seat of my pants). This isn’t always a great thing (spontaneity – I miss it!), but it does make for a smoother marriage if you ask me.  If you put a planner and a non-planner together, there are bound to be some pretty steady disagreements on how life should be. On the other hand, sometimes it is life that changes you and the spouse just happens to have already traversed that path or was even born like that. 

A little bit of a variant on Nature vs. Nurture. My husband likes to claim that he helped me become who I am today. There is no doubt at all that this is at least partially true. I also think it can’t be the whole story.  I refuse to think that had I been married to someone else, I would have been a completely different person. Perhaps it’s my ego speaking here, but I like to think that the person I am today is a combination of MY experiences. Obviously, a husband will be a pretty regular part of my experiences after I get married, but the core should remain the same.
What do you think? Is it more a person influencing you or just life?


No comments: